


Your Dungeons are Inadequate

by Chisscientist



Series: The Sillymarils are coming! [3]
Category: The Silmarillion and other histories of Middle-Earth - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: Epistolary, Gen, Humor, Sarcastic Sauron, Sauron is a troll, Sauron's capture of Minas Tirith, Silmarillion silliness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-05
Updated: 2021-02-05
Packaged: 2021-03-17 12:40:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 200
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29225598
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Chisscientist/pseuds/Chisscientist
Summary: A letter from Sauron to Finrod Felagund sent shortly after the fall of Minas Tirith. Apparently, Sauron has some complaints he wishes to make...
Relationships: Finrod Felagund | Findaráto & Orodreth | Artaresto, Finrod Felagund | Findaráto & Sauron | Mairon, Orodreth and Sauron
Series: The Sillymarils are coming! [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2025743
Comments: 6
Kudos: 22





	Your Dungeons are Inadequate

To the pretender Finrod Felegund, called King of Nargothrond, greetings.

While I am on the whole most pleased with the acquisition of the tower known as Minas Tirith, I have a few complaints to make. First of all, your dungeon facilities are completely inadequate. I am currently being forced to hold prisoners in pantries and cellars. As for your torture equipment, it is non-existent! Everything I have so far had to be imported specially from Angband.

I do, however, to find your defensive arrangements excellent. Orodreth kindly left everything standing for me, greatly facilitating the transition. Do remember to thank him for me. Unfortunately everything is slightly too tall for my orcs, which has resulted in a great demand for step stools. Still, I am sure they will cope.

I look forward to future visits from you, although they will have to be held outside the castle as I very much doubt you will ever be able to reclaim it from me. Lovely carvings by the way: unfortunately the orcs keep breaking them and writing graffiti all over them. How sad. I look forward to meeting you in Nargothrond sometime soon.

Until then,  
Have a nice day.

Gorthaur (the Cruel)


End file.
